In the Field

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J.M.J.

During my pilgrimage to Europe recently, I had many spiritual experiences. This is the first of many that I will share with you. They are highly personal, but as I have learned, there is great power in sharing your encounters and yes, even your struggles with others. None of us are alone in this journey of life. Christ is always there, and I want to share with you all how I experienced Him more fully than I ever have before. 

This picture came near the end of a very challenging day. We started out the day with Mass. We then proceeded to hike 8 miles in the heat of the day with thousands of pilgrims headed toward Bolonia Park, where we were to spend the night. The closing Mass the next day would be celebrated by Pope Francis himself! This spending the night experience was called the vigil. 

Trudging along the sometimes rough path with people all around you is trying for anyone I'd imagine, but I supposed that I was having quite a hard time. You see, I hadn't had lunch that day, and I was eating the snacks that I had brought with me. I am quite introverted, meaning I get my energy replenished by being alone. My alone time had been pretty much non-existent for 10 days straight up to this point. I was feeling exhausted on a physical and emotional level. 

I happened to glance to my right at one point. A pilgrim was walking along the same path I was, wearing braces on each arm, using them to support each step. I thought, if this person can do it with such impediments, of course I can do it! The distance was lengthy but it was made easier somehow that I was doing it with lots of people. It came to me that when a difficult task is done with a group, it makes the distance seem doable. 

At last we arrived to our destination. Some went to collect food for the group; the rest of us went to claim our spots for the night. We received news 2 hours later that there was no food left; it had run out! This isn't what you want to hear when you've spent the entire day in the hot sun walking constantly, especially when you didn't have anything of much substance to eat. I was sitting there, feeling a bit upset at God. Why would we walk on a pilgrimage, supposed to be having a spiritual encounter of some significance, and here we were without food? Where was He in this foreign city and country of Krakow, Poland?

I sat and reflected a bit more and I discovered the problem was with my attitude. I finally embraced the situation, realizing it was out of my control. Some of the people from our group went and got food, and I ate dinner at 11 pm that night. In the meantime, as I was waiting for food that I knew may or may not come, I opened my heart to God, asking Him to work within me. Shortly after, someone came and passed out candles to all the pilgrims. We shared the flame with each other. Soon, the park was ablaze with millions of candles as far as the eye could see.

I sat there, gazing at the flame. I couldn't see exactly what was going on as we were a distance from the stage and screen, but I think maybe Adoration or evening prayer was happening. So I decided to pray, candle in hand. God blessed me with amazing graces at the moment. He poured insights into my heart, showing me things I had been asking Him about. He dislodged the doubt and questions that had been festering for far too long. In that time of prayer, nothing else existed but myself and God. All around me didn't matter. That's how close God and I were. In that field filled with many bugs and uneven ground, I sat, hungry. Yet I didn't notice any longer. During the vigil and even into the next day, I felt that God was so close to me that I could reach out and touch Him. I have never felt so close to God before. 

The moral of this story is that sometimes, in order to find God, you have to lose yourself. I let go of all physical comfort and was completely exhausted before I was able to let God enter into my heart, soul, and entire being like I did. 

What's keeping you from encountering God in a deeply personal way? Ask Him. He'll tell you. All that is left is for you to let those things go so that you can find Him. He loves you more than you can imagine. Run back to Him. He's waiting for you!

God bless you!

Stephanie