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What My 30th Year of Life Has Been Like

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  I'm turning 31 tomorrow. What has my 30th year of life been like? I'll tell you. I spent months in bed. I had pushed myself so hard for so long that this was all I could do. I received many treatments from multiple mental health professionals that were ineffective and damaging. Friends reached out to me and helped out during my darkest times. I advocated for myself and obtained an ADHD diagnosis. After receiving proper treatment for my ADHD, my depression, which I have recurrently experienced severely since at least the age of 12, went away. I met a group of women who also care deeply about social justice issues. I had a sleep study done, and while I was diagnosed with mild sleep apnea that existed only while sleeping on my back, I was given no other reason why I wasn't sleeping well. I went to an ENT specialist and he found that I had a very severely deviated septum and enlarged turbinates. With surgery, this was corrected and I can now breathe through my nose.  While re
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Sometimes I'm Wrong

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      I have a lot of conversations with people online. I discuss things with people that I agree with and people that I disagree with. As long as we are all being polite, things are constructive and beneficial. What I have a problem with is when anyone is being nasty.      Sometimes, I'm wrong. Sometimes I post something that I find out later was at least partially incorrect. When I find this out, I correct it. I let people know. I'll post a new article or post some new words about what I got wrong.      Sometimes we are all wrong. None of us are right all of the time. We are all learning. The important thing is to stay open-minded, but not so open-minded that our brains fall out (G.K. Chesterton). In this climate, it is so important to look at sources both that we agree with and disagree with. Unfortunately, we can't just look at the sources that we cherry-picked as our favorites. In high school I learned that you need to look at both sides of an issue and present them bo
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My Limitations

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  J.M.J.     I have limitations. I fully admit that. Although, it is hard to admit to myself sometimes that I have them. As a recovering perfectionist, I try too hard to do too much on a constant basis. Our United States culture praises this kind of toxic "need to do all things all the time" mindset.      I am just now feeling better because of a new medication I'm taking for my seasonal depression. Before that, I was severely depressed every fall and winter since the age of 12. I have beat myself up mentally over and over because of things I felt like I should have or could have done better. One example? Wedding thank you notes. I am starting to forgive myself now, but it was made difficult because there were people who made me feel guilty for not writing the thank you notes sooner than I did. I do not appreciate this. They did not know why I did not write thank you notes in a timely manner, and it is not for them to judge my motive for taking so long to write them. I di
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My Body, My Choice

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    I know that I'm probably going to get a lot of criticism, judgment, and disapproval for writing this. I still think it needs to be said. Anybody who knows me well knows that I'm pro-life. I believe in the dignity of human life from conception until natural death. I believe that all people have the right to live.     I have noticed a very disturbing trend since COVID-19 became known as a threat to the U.S. People are politically and religiously divided on whether or not this unpredictable virus is dangerous. Someone even told me that "God would take care of us" if we decide to go to a public place with people all around. Certainly God does take care of us. We are also not to put God to the test while being irresponsible. Jesus made this pretty clear when Satan told the Son of God to jump off a cliff. Jesus said that we are not to put the Lord our God to the test.     A medical professional told me that she would only wear a mask to a public indoor gathering becaus
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It's Not Political to Stay Home

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I think it's pretty crazy that the subject of staying home during a worldwide pandemic has become political. Being from Washington State, I certainly am used to a lot of regulations. Some are a bit much, while some are quite helpful. Now living in Alabama, I am seeing the other side of the political spectrum. People are protesting being told what to do, in the name of their "freedoms." I find this rather absurd. If you aren't smart enough to stay home to protect yourself and others from a potentially life-threatening illness, then maybe you need someone to make you stay home. Another narrow-minded thought I've come across is that being pro-life applies only to unborn babies. I take a more broad-minded approach to the concept; I believe that all life is precious, from the unborn to the elderly. When I watch as the governor of Alabama takes a stand prioritizing economy over the lives of countless people, it makes me shake my head. She wants to ban abortion, and ye
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Waiting

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In this liturgical season of Advent, I pause and reflect on the meaning of waiting. We are waiting for the celebration of the birth of Christ. As I wait for Jesus, I realize that He is the only One who can fulfill me. I am about to get married. December 29th of this year is the big day! Though I am so excited to start this new journey, I also know that my future husband cannot totally fulfill me. No matter how wonderful he is, he isn't God. Only God can fill the God-shaped hole in my heart. We wait our whole lives for the next thing, and then the next thing. We want to be done with school. Get a job. Meet someone special. Get married. Have kids. Buy a house. It goes on! We are always chasing something. And yet, we aren't fully satisfied by just that. Are we? That's because only God can fulfill you! Spend time with Him, and you will be rewarded by just knowing that no matter what, He is there for you. Here's to hoping that you can wait with joyful anticipation
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Worth

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J.M.J. I have relocated, and as such I don't have the job I used to. I have been struggling mightily with the concept that my worth is based in my productivity. Recently, I realized that this very lie is what promulgates great evils present today. Babies aren't productive; indeed, they are viewed as stifling interference in a woman's productivity. Their solution? Abortion. The elderly are undervalued and aren't able to work anymore, so they are looked on as valueless. The result? Assisted suicide. Now, these evils sometimes have other causes than the ones I just stated. I fell prey to this lie. It crept in without me even realizing that something was wrong with this thought. I just knew that it made me feel miserable about my self-worth.  You are loved by God for who you are, not for what you accomplish. Certainly, you must do His will, but if He is not currently calling you to a lot of busyness, thank Him for this season. You must need it.
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